Redundancy vs Important Repetition

Chao- This is probably something that slips by a lot of writers. We write a paragraph or even a sentence and don't even realize we've repeated an event or detail.

Example 1: He was on the lookout to look for enemies.

Chao- Some may see this as a mistake only novice writers make. But unimportant information that gets repeated does happen to even advance writers.

Example 2: A few feet from where he was standing, the boy saw a familiar looking sock not too far from where he was.

Chao- Isn't that just a little redundant? It seems like they are taking up space.

Suggestions to Fix This:

• If you come across something you are questioning, consider if all words are needed just for that sentence.
• Prepositions at the end of sentences tend to have readers lose their focus, especially if its prepositional phrase after prepositional phrase after prepositional phrase.
• Read the sentence in question out of context. If it can stand alone without any other explanation, keep it.

Chao- Repeating such information isn't all bad. If you have something repeating, it can be a good thing. It can show you are trying to tell your readers some important information.

Example 1: It may be true he held such a fear in his heart, but he also held a dream. He dreamed that one day he would be able to let his friends know what his one wish was.

Example 2: She couldn’t believe he was a vampire. She couldn’t believe her innocent friend had somehow been brought into a battle between creatures. She couldn’t believe the strange situation she had landed in.

Chao- Both of these involve a word or two repeated. Authors can look in a thesaurus for synonyms, but what if they had a point they wanted to make? If you want something to stick to your readers, or if you want them to take notice of something, this can be a good skill to try out.

"Everyone" and "Their" Business

"Everyone bring their own laptop."

"Everyone bring their own laptop."

"Everyone bring their own laptop."

Chao- Sure a lot of people have written something like this in their work at one time or another. We may even ignore it if a writing program tells us this is wrong. Why should this matter? Isn't easier to type this than continuously write "he/she" or taking a risk in sounding sexist by selecting one sex noun? Not if you want to be a good writer, which means following all grammatical rules (unless, of course, you have a reason for breaking them, and ignorance does not count).

Making Subjects and Verbs Agree

Correcting Errors in Subject-Verb Agreement

Self Teaching Unit: Subject - Verb Agreement

Subject-Verb Agreement

Subject-verb Agreement: Watch the subject-verb agreement in your sentences when...

Suggestions on Fixing This:

• Change everything to plural -- "All employees bring their own laptop."

Chao- Chao likes to go with keeping everything plural since it makes things that much easier.

• Delete the determiner altogether -- "Everyone bring a laptop."
• Rewrite the sentence as a who clause -- "Everyone who has a laptop should bring it."
• Keep it to one sex -- "Everyone bring his own laptop."

-Drawback: You risk sounding sexist to some readers even if you did not intend to.
-Consider this: How can a singular truly mean all?

• Continue to write he/she -- "Everyone bring his/her own laptop."

-Drawback: You disrupt the flow of reading.
-Consider this: Use it sparingly.

Chao- Once you become familiar with grammar jargon, or decide to stop ignoring the explanations, understanding why Microsoft Word placed squiggles under a part of a sentence will start to make sense. Whether we are writing for a hobby or would like to have something published one day, keeping Subjects and Verbs in agreement in important. The links above do apply to the common "was vs. were" and so on. And dialogue is excluded since people try and not want to sound sexist.

Whose Eyes Are We Seeing Through? YGO Edition

Chao- Came upon this thought while writing and keeping in mind who are the "main" characters for the fan fic. While reading stories, we see the characters hold reactions to the events around them. We may read a block of text about everyone's reactions, and others we read one specific character.

Example 1: From one of the drawers of Yugi’s desk, Yami removed a First-Aid kit. He opened it and took out a large Band-Aid and a disposable packet of rubbing alcohol. He gently pulled off the used Band-Aid, careful to not peel too quickly least his harm his friend or leave remains. Holding the disposable cloth, he leaned closer to Yugi’s face.

Chao- But whose expressions are we reading about and why?

Example 2: Yugi saw Yami removing the First-Aid kit from one his desk's drawers. As Yami opened it and pulled out a large Band-Aid and a disposable packet of rubbing alcohol, Yugi tightened his grip on his bed sheets. He closed his eyes and felt the old Band-Aid peeling off his face at a safe rate, ensuring that it would not sting his cheek nor leave remains. He knew what would be coming next: The alcohol.

Chao- This idea may overlap narration and point of view. We may come upon something like these two examples in the same story, maybe even in the same chapter. Guess some writers like to have their readers read each viewpoint.

25 Things You Should Know About Narrative Point of View

Narrative POV

Fiction Factor - Exposition vs. Narrative

Narrators and Narrative Structure in Fiction

Chao- The nice thing about FF.net is that you are allowed to make changes to your story as you move along. You may feel other characters should take the slots of what you had originally placed. And, recently, FF.net had allowed more characters to be added in the slots instead of two. Of course you can always select none, but a drawback would be when users select characters in their search.

Updates for June

Chao- Sorry if anything that had been promised to be published last month didn't come. Kinda got sidetracked by other projects. And now that summer has arrived, Chao will be busy with a summer job and possibly summer school. But don't worry! A few things shall get published over the course of this time of year!

Yu-Gi-Oh!: Been working on chapters for "Offspring of Heroes" and a few one shots. Try and get those posted some time this month.

Phineas and Ferb: No current news at this time.

Cats Don't Dance: No current news at this time.

Chao- You know what's funny about these updates? Chao had decided to write them so readers could know what was planned to come out that month. Chao always gets pumped at the beginning of each month since it gives time for Chao to write a list of things that need to get done. But as time goes on, such motivation gets diminished, and it's sometimes hard to find time to get fan fics done when so much needs to be done in the real world. Curse you, reality!