Chao- While taking a few English classes over the past few semesters in college, a couple of teachers had offered some very good tips on actual writing, whether for short fiction or academic papers. Most of us understand that for any proper English sentence, it needs a subject and a verb. There are different ways to write out what we want each sentence in each story to say.
Example 1: Yugi walked into his bedroom, carrying his heavy backpack. He placed it on his desk and sat down. He was happy to be done with school as he flipped through his pack of Duel Monster cards and talked with his friend.
Example 2: Carrying his heavy backpack, Yugi walked into his bedroom. He placed it on his desk and sat down. Flipping through his pack of Duel Monster cards and talking with his friend, he was happy to be done with school.
Chao- So what’s the same thing within in these two?
YChao- They were written by a lazy author
Chao- ………
YChao- They both lack Yugi torture.
Chao- ……….
YChao- Fine. They’re both about Yugi.
Chao- And what’s the difference between the two examples?
YChao- I pretty much got the same, boring content out of it.
Chao- It’s all about suspense!
YChao- I don’t get it…
Chao- Yes, both are about Yugi and what’s he doing. The first exampled has the subject first followed by the verb in all three sentences. Chao had turned in a paper like this for a review, and the teacher had said it gets boring reading the same pattern over and over again. She suggested switching things around, as can be seen in Example 2.
YChao- Write a better example!
Chao- Ok, fine.
Example 3: Yugi ran down an isolated ally, fearing for his life. He passed by empty boxes and dirty puddles. He hoped he could be reunited with Yami as his heart pumped with great anxiety. He had to get away from Bakura first.
Example 4: Yugi ran down an isolated ally, fearing for his life. Passing by empty boxes and dirty puddles, he had to get away from Bakura first. He hoped he could be reunited with Yami as his heart pumped with great anxiety.
Chao- Better?
YChao- I guess. Could you write Yugi getting beaten up or something?
Chao- …Anyway, it’s good for writers to find ways to write in new styles. Readers may not know exactly how you made something so interesting, but it’s good to have different patterns, even if it’s just for something as simple as switching around subjects and verb spots. This is what’s called suspense; it’s created very easily just by positioning the subjects and verbs. They can be simple like in these examples, or very long like done in some Edgar Allen Poe works. (He’s the one who wrote The Raven, yes?) It just depends on what you, the writer, like. (Unless it’s an academic paper, in which case you’re better off writing just what the teacher wants to hear.)
YChao- You also had four sentences in Example 3 while Example 4 had three.
Chao- That’s called Revision, and there’ll be an entry for that topic another time. Chao will just be giving some advice as these classes go on.
YChao- They better have Yugi torture! It’ll be a surefire way for readers and writers to understand what the heck you’re talking about!
Chao- Hope this helped!
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